1- So while I was porn-- I mean, Storm surfing... 2- Too big to fail? Let's get smaller. 3- Make my wall a fence. 4- There's got to be a lazy one around here somewhere. 5- We will return after March Madness. Hey, who broke my bracket?

1 – The Oscars. 2 – We’re shooting. Not a movie, a school. 3 – In God we trust. We also trust the AR-15. 4 – Life is sacred. Well, for the baby Mom, not so much. 5 – Coal + Steel = jobs in 1951 6 – Fake Science...

1- Yeah, there’s money in it. Grow Up. 2- I’m paid to talk about not paying college athletes. 3- The pros get it. 4 - I love Olympians. 5 - I gotta learn to Curl. 6 - Kudos, Ms. Vonn. 7- Hey, Fox News, it's called freedom of speech, shut...

1- Unplugged and I like it. 2- Little said, Nothing done. 3- School shooting again. 4- "Backpacks! Got those bulletproof backpacks here!" 5- I’m not sure who’s insane: him or US. 6- I’m going to Wakanda. 7- Black Panther All Star Game.

1- Dial Up News. 2- State of the Union. 3- Obama, would you stop it? 4- Today, I’m a Philly fan. 5 - Dry land is in my future.

1- Shut 'em down. 2- My grandfather had the answer. 3- Making America great again costs money. 4- We fold. 5- I’m 6’3, 239 lbs. Real news of fake weight. 6- Will someone tell tubby the women were marching against him. 7- What’s wrong with the racist misogynistic party I...

1- Smart people are too smart to say it.2- You didn’t believe that wall story, did you?3- You wanted the con.4- Nice, sweet racists.5- "We was just bein' ‘Merikkkan."6- A tough job to do well.7- Ain't easy being white.

1- Yes, California is high. LEGALLY.2- Buttons3- I resolve to get rich4- It's a new year, I’m shipping milk and pumping gas.5- Jesus Coins6- Hey, Brother, can I build you a statue?

1- Taxing: the long con. 2- Listen to Pop. 3- Bye, Felicia. 4- 7 dirty, I mean, intelligent words. 5- Spicer and the Mooch 6- Alternative facts from Fake News 7- Yep, that’s a hurricane. 8- Guns! Guns! Guns! 9- Summer of Supremacy 10- Are you sure about that whole...

1- I’m wrong. Thank you, Alabama. 2- They cry voter fraud because none of their disenfranchisement worked. 3- Trump unfit to clean toilets. We knew it, but it's still nice to hear. 4- Fear is down and so are gun prices. 5- Viral video = cash. Hmmm... 6- Happy Holidays...