1. This decision makes sense. Just ask God. 2. Benefits! Get your free benefits here! 3. You will be sentenced to 30 years. 4. Horrible women 5. Permit Patty, Mike Huckabee, and other non-racist racists. 6. Life in the poor lane 7. Tweet of the Week

1. I was wrong. Don’t arrest me. 2. Horrible people, I’m noticing a pattern. 3. Locking up kids. 4. Control costs more than money. 5. Take some R&R and get laid black

1- Hello, Officer, there's an NFL playing burglar outside. 2- If Canada is angry, it's you, not Canada. 3- Will they or won't they? Only Singapore knows. 4 - Piece of cake as long as it's not gay cake. 5- Welcome, champions. Well not you, or you, or those guys...

1- America First, whether we like it or not. 2- New police tactics seem to match old police tactics. 3- M.A.G.A. with no jobs or hospitals or housing or… 4- NFL: No Fans League 5- I’ll be damned, Rachel, someone did buy the book. 6- Go! Knights! Go! 7- Stacy...

1- Stop calling cops. 2- I’ll be at the cookout. 3- Doing everything at the police station. 4- Gas is going up. Where’s that coal powered car? 5- Iran, Jerusalem, confusion, war. 6 - I’ll bet on that. 7 - Georgia on my mind. 8 - The Miserable States of...

1- Bad comes in 3s 2- Moving: now where’d you put that? 3- James Shaw is a HERO. 4- 80,000 good guys with guns can't match one black hero. 5- Speaking of heroes... Michelle Wolf is mine. 6- Goodbye, Bill. 7- We told you he’s an idiot. 8- I’m just...

1- Moving blues 2- The What House? 3- The new normal 4- Wah wah. I want my hate treated fairly. 5- Fox News would not like M.L.K. 6- M.L.K. would not like 2018 7- Baseball snow days

1- March For Our Lives 2- Why is Rick talking?! 3- You look like my daughter. 4- Thou Shalt Not-- Ahhh, go ahead. 5- Yes, we forgave Bill. He rebalanced the budget. 6- Trump Friends 7- Naomi Wadler's life matters. 8- Play Ball!

1- So while I was porn-- I mean, Storm surfing... 2- Too big to fail? Let's get smaller. 3- Make my wall a fence. 4- There's got to be a lazy one around here somewhere. 5- We will return after March Madness. Hey, who broke my bracket?

1 – The Oscars. 2 – We’re shooting. Not a movie, a school. 3 – In God we trust. We also trust the AR-15. 4 – Life is sacred. Well, for the baby Mom, not so much. 5 – Coal + Steel = jobs in 1951 6 – Fake Science...